How To Move Into Your Dream Apartment
Usually my blog posts consist of self care and self-awareness, its all about your mental health and uplifting people. So I am not big on doing the ‘how tos’. But I thought to myself this topic is about your mental health, and it is about self-care and it is about self help.
Moving in your own apartment is one of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself in this lifetime. It doesn’t have to be for 5 years or the rest of your life, but there should be at least one year of your life that you get to be and live alone.
I have talked about being alone in the past and enjoying your singleness. But you can be in a relationship and still take this time to live by yourself. I looked at my demographics and most people that read this are in between the ages 24-34. Which means gen z is not reading my work. So if you’re friends with my sisters Alyse and Lee spread the word.
24-34 is an interesting age because of the simple fact that most of us are seeing people buying homes, getting married, having a baby, or owning property. Whether they plan to live in it or rent it out. That pressure to keep up is agonizing to say the least. Even last year I found myself in the office of a friend of mine, Kyle. He’s a realtor and I decided I wanted to buy a home. I wanted his point of view. It dawned on me after the meeting that this is very final. I could own property and rent it too out but didn’t even know if I was ready for that yet.
To be honest that still is my goal, not because I care about real-estate but I essentially am willing to do whatever in my power to not work for the rest of my life (I’ll break down that plan another time)
Life took a different turn after my meeting with Kyle. I ended up falling in love with someone who lives in Jersey and even if that hadn’t happened, I came to the realization that I may not be ready to really invest in a property. I noticed that a lot of us aren’t there yet either.
We aren’t ready to settle down into one place. Honestly a big accomplishment is just moving out of your parents’ home and into your own space. It should be celebrated as such.
Currently, 52% of people age 18-29 live with their parents. Between the economy, covid, and jobs it just makes sense. So, I want to talk about how-to get out of that. To move from living with a roommate or mom and dad. It’s a big deal and a positive decision to make for yourself and an experience that every person deserves to have in their lifetime.
Let me start by saying there are levels to this. Whenever I look at social media I see people who already are in their dream apartments. They say they asked the universe and manifested it. Which probably is partially true. Mainly it seems like cap. There was some sort of hard work, planning, and saving that went into getting that Highrise with floor to ceiling windows.
I believe you go through 3 living arrangements before you get to your dream space.
Apartment #1 is the shitty apartment. It is the one with either a lot of roommates, or very particular roommates. Usually rowhouse situation where all the furniture was either gifted by family members and thus 30 years old, or found on the side of the road. It is the apartment that you may see a creepy crawler, or must carry a bat when walking from your car at night. This apartment could also consist of fighting over the bathroom and having a lot of your depression days spent in a room the size of a closet watching reruns of Girlfriends on your laptop. This apartment is where you’ll probably have some of the best drunk nights, eat the most take out, and experience your first and probably only physical altercation. It is the apartment that when you’re lease is up you’ll be running to your parents guest bedroom and using that extra bit of money you have on movers, because moving in was nauseating and moving out needs to be smoother that your entire living experience.
After you move you may have elevated a bit. Maybe you make a little more money, maybe you picked up some side hustles that have helped you make it out the trap. Maybe you just saved your butt off because the rent at your prior place was like $400 bucks. The point is you made it to:
Apartment # 2 – this apartment things are a bit better. If you still have a roommate, it’s down to one person. Two if they have a significant other that doesn’t know when to go home. You have said so long to the tapestries on the wall, and there may even be an elevator in your building. This apartment is cute, rent isn’t too bad because you’re sharing. You probably experience a lot of wine nights here and learn how to cook your basic b**** meal of chicken alfredo. Life starts off pretty cool, you have taco nights with a couple friends and you and your roommate get along for the most part. Until you don’t, and you can’t seem to agree on the AC. Or your sleep schedules are off because you work at home or the night shift at a bar and they work for a corporate job that requires them to wake up at the ass crack of dawn. Soon little notes are left about dishes in the sink and on the inside of cabinets. Condiments that were once shared are now labeled. Tension is high and what was originally a shared friend’s experience turned into co existing with someone who makes you want to pull your hair out. It’s time to move.
Apartment 1 and 2 may occur a couple of times, you may stay at either longer than you want to. You may have never experienced either and all you know is that childhood bedroom that never got repainted. Whatever the case is, eventually you’ll be ready to live on your own. Before you settle into that relationship I strongly suggest you experience your last apartment. The place you get to live before you have to worry about a mortgage or the permanence of a home.
So, you land a promotion or you really focus on that lash business and get your money up and you decide that it is time for the final apartment = the dream space.
I am going to give you the blueprint on how I did it. And listen, I am going to be fully transparent, because I cannot stand when people give some superficial super cute looking version, that looks appealing and easy (I am talking to you TikTok tutorials) I want to give you the truth.
I currently live in a 645squarefoot apartment in Washington DC with windows that allow me to see that point monument thing in DC. I have updated stainless steel appliances with a cute kitchen backsplash. I live on the 3rd floor and my apartment has so many mf amenities that it is a slap in the face I haven’t used them all. The gym looks like a place where Olympians train, and the pool is on the roof. DID YOU HEAR ME I SAID THE POOL IS ON THE ROOF.
And listen, if I can do this I promise you can too. You don’t have to be the aesthetics queen to live the aesthetics life. I didn’t even think my shit was all that until I saw people posting on social media living a life similar to mine. It is obtainable, and livable and I am going to show you how.
Step 1- Research your ideal apartment. This is the like only manifestation phase. You need to imagine what you want, and then list it. So for me I knew I needed a place near a major train station to help me get around. I needed a washer and dryer in unit—sorry I am not going missing cause my ass decided to go to the laundromat at 12:30 in the morning—I wanted an updated kitchen with all the appliances. A white refrigerator?**Nene Leakes Voice** I don’t think so. I wanted something with windows, and I wanted a place with security. So, the doors need to open by a fob, and there needs to be a security guard who may or may not be stoned on the job sitting at the front desk. I wanted a place where people around me were diverse they can be any age, but I wanted a mix. To many of one race has weird connotations, almost cult like, if you catch my drift… unless you’re at Howard University you feel me. It’s important to pick out what I really want so that I can put in motion how to look and not sort through a bunch of different options and feel overwhelmed.
Step 2 implementation – I started searching for a place a good 4 months before. I know that is alot, but when you are looking for something specific its nice to start in advance. If you wait to long you may look in a rush and not pay attention to detail. I knew there were three important aspects of my search: location, my non negotiables, and cost
Location – I checked out search engines like Apartment.com and Zillow.com. Places like craigslist have hidden gems, but honestly if you can’t afford to go through a realator (I couldn’t) then sometimes its best to go for the official websites. I would put in spaces in DC that I wanted to be close too and that I was familiar with. If you already are accustomed to your city this should be easy, look for places where your commute to like work or places you frequent that won’t be treacherous to get to. The next items are your local grocery store and convenience places. Listen walking 3 miles to get bread is out. If you are in an apartment and you don’t have a car, or hell even if you do the closer to a store you are the better, it honestly saves you money in the long run because you don’t have to pay for extra travel. Most times you may end up using a delivery service anyway, that delivery fee is much cheaper when they are picking up from a store within a mile radius.
If you are new to the area, really research populated areas, use google maps, you want metropolitan so it is easy to get around but you want to be in a safe neighborhood. Just cause an apartment is glossy doesn’t mean its safe. Gentrification is real and contractors have no problem putting a nice ass apartment in a place where you will get robbed. Same goes for those super expensive places, just because it is all white doesn’t make it all right boo. You want to make sure the place you live in you won’t get accosted if you forget your key. Read reviews of places, google an apartment you like yourself and check out their reviews, that’s where you get the honest feedback.
Non negotiables- when you’re online searching for places your best bet is to be honest with yourself and put in the things you want. So that washer and dryer, close to a school, hardwood floors. Place them in and narrow it down. Chances are you’ll have to compromise on other things like water usage and quiet hours, so don’t negotiate on the things you truly want. The list is going to minimize and you’ll feel so much better. Once you’ve got like a top 10 places you can begin to reach out to management. I used to date a property manager and those mfs sit in their office all day eagerly waiting for new potential renters. A huge thing I did was communicate with them frequently especially the places I really liked, that way when there was a hook up they reached out to yours truly.
Cost- listen you need to be realistic about cost. Here is the truth you get what you pay for and rent is expensive. If you want a place that’s cheap be prepared for the bullshit, or at the very least the place being far in a location which is pointless. In that same token please do not pay out the butt for a fancy apartment that is the size of Harry Potter’s room. Listen don’t get choked up by those 21 year old’s in New York who pay for a “view” but have to hang their purses on a wall. You need space, you deserve a place with a kitchen and a bathroom and a place to put your bed. If you really like a certain place look into their junior bedrooms, it is literally the same size as a one bedroom its just the walls are shortened. If you are going to stay in a studio make sure it is large enough where you have ample space between your bedroom and where you eat. If you are in a one bedroom make sure you aren’t going to be paycheck to paycheck. Your rent should make up 20% of your salary. Give or take. I currently pay about 500 more than that but I can afford that. Your rent needs to be covered by 1 paycheck out of the month, but not the whole paycheck sis, only like half. If there’s a space you really like if you know it’s going to be pricy you need to begin to think about where you can cut back so you can have the place you love.
Which leads me to step 3: Save your money and budget. I never thought I’d see the day I was giving this advice on here. But I am learning quickly that having money saved feels amazing, I would know because I currently lack the feeling. Most places are going to want rent upfront or a safety deposit. So go for the places that are giving up deals like 2 months free rent. Any place giving free rent this is what you negotiate: you would like that rent money spaced out into your entire lease. That $100 off difference each month is incredible. Make sure you have enough saved for the next two months rent, and your deposit before you sign the lease. You really don’t want to be paycheck to paycheck freaking out on how you are going to pay your rent each month, you always want to know you have about 2 months to figure shit out, say you lose your job or something. Next check your credit most places if you have a 540 and up you’re honestly in good hands. While you’re at your new place get a credit card if you don’t have one. It can be used to pay for groceries and going out to dinner or trips. You can use your credit cards as ways to build your credit. They legit will bump you up 20 points just for paying on time. Now you don’t have to partake in that bullshit twitter debate on whether to have a perfect score of 500K in the bank. Cause you’re working towards both. Prepare to have all your bills on autopay. That way you don’t have to manually see yourself removing money from your account it can happen behind the scenes. Trust me boo it’s better for your psyche.
It isn’t just rent though. You should begin to consider all bills you will owe. I like to write them out in a list because if I try to calculate in my head I think I either owe $100,000 a month or $10.99. I list them in order of importance –
Rent
Utilities
Internet
Water
Groceries
Realistic Going out Money
Trips
Shopping
Oh and movers. Don’t be that tacky mf who asks your friends to help. What do you even repay them in, pizza? No thank you. Asking friends to move results in 1 of two things, 1. Realizing you’re friends are gonna say no and having your feelings hurt or 2 realizing your friends are going to say yes and putting them in a stressful situation that will result in them saying never again.
Movers are worth it, they do what you say and they’re fast, and you can freak out over keys and furniture in general. No one wants to be the girl with the floor to ceiling window apartment and no furniture.
Trust me I have had sex on an air mattress before, it is…..humbling.
The best ways to find furniture is as follows:
Ask!!! Post on social media, ask friends and family. Trust me there is always someone looking to get rid of something most times you can even negotiate the price.
Check out sites like Offer Up, Gazzelle, and PoshMark. When you move into your apartment check if they have a place where tenants can talk to each other someone is always selling something or giving it away for free.
Next Wayfair yea yea I know people thought they were selling women online. Which in hindsight do y’all know how stupid that sounds? It was debunked by the way. I bought so many items off of Wayfair. You get what you pay for so if you’re going to be cheap expect cheap shit, but if you really search you can get some cool finds, plus they have a lay away progam. My couch, bed, and kitchen table are all from Wayfair. You can either have a team come assemble or you can do it yourself, its never as complicated as it seems, plus people give honest reviews
The last and honestly my guilty pleasure.. Amazon sis. I know F Jeff Bezos. BUT BABYYYYY literally they have everything on there. There is something for any need you have.
When it comes to the smaller items, like lamps and comforters, check out places like TJ MAXX and Marshalls these places usually have higher end brands for really cheap. They have an entire section designated to home décor. You can also go to Target but I find they don’t have as many options unless you are moving into a dorm.
When it comes to payment make sure you don’t just have your rent saved but also have money saved for the items that you need, and prepare to be broke for a little while. You usually are in the hole for the first couple of months after moving in. So say hello to Wendy’s and Ramen Noodles for a while. Try to move a few months before or after the holidays or not close to your birthday – you know times where you have to spend a bit more money.
I have auto pay for all my bills, and use 1 credit card for groceries and meals and the other for trips to pay back. My goal is to always stay under 10% of the credit I have on each card.
Once I know how much I spend monthly I tell myself that I really want that to stay under one check. I try, it damn sure isn’t easy. So don’t beat yourself up if some months end up being more expensive than others, just know that saving is important. I can’t believe I am saying that because I am the trip impulse queen and I love a good meal. However, in the long run it is important. It doesn’t mean you have to live mediocre in the process, you just have to live in your means.
If Apartment.com or Zillow doesn’t help, walking around an area and asking for recommendations is a great way to find your dream place. Following people in the city on social media platforms like Tik Tok and Instagram are great ways to become more knowledgeable. People love to give reviews of apartments or foods or things to do, reach out to those people 9 times out of 10 they’ll be dying to give feedback or advice. Ask around with friends and co workers on suggestions. I was able to get my apartment by asking one of my friends who recently moved. He was even able to give me a tour before moving in. I moved during the pandemic when prices were really low, but the best time to move is in the winter. It sucks but rates are lower because who the hell wants to move in the snow.
Touring is essential. You need to see this place not just in pictures. Check out the amenities, peep potential neighbors feel the vibe. A place can be super decked out but all around a weird aura and now you’re stuck there. Check the quality of the bathroom sinks, take pictures before move in so people can’t say anything was messed up before move in and poof your deposit is gone. Check out the windows, check out the flooring and pipes. While you’re there discuss leases some places will give you 10, 12, or 13 month leases.
More than anything make sure you aren’t making this decision to early. When I first lived alone it was way to soon. My apartment was crusty, I had a sketchy neighbor, and it was way too difficult traveling to work. I just was depressed and it wasn’t working. I moved in with a friend as soon as my 10 month lease was up and then after that time when I felt I was ready, I moved into my own space.
You can do this. It is all about planning and being prepared. Don’t rush into anything until you are financially and emotionally ready. I believe in you, and I really hope these tips help you find your dream place.
