Appreciate what you have when you are on the brink of a breakthrough

I woke up today in Lake Tahoe, the smell of breakfast seeping into my bedroom. I woke up with this sudden urge to create. I need to write, I need to make more content, I need to get my podcasts off the ground, I have a case to cover… 

Something about California air makes me want to do more. 

I am interrupted by my best friend Kemi calling me to come and eat. 

All I can think is, I am on the brink of major change and I need to prepare. Its probably why I’m here on this trip at this time in Lake Tahoe in the first place.  Where there is no wifi and I’m in a cabin with some of the closest people in my life.

We grew up thinking that “things have to get worse before they get better” and the thing is I believe that. As my friend Casey says “Everyone needs one good mental breakdown” I find it to be a palette cleanser, your way of knowing, shit can only go up from here. 

However we don’t normally talk about that pause, that slow feeling of reality before a major change. Think about your birthday. What is the reason we celebrate that milestone? Lately I have questioned it because if you take the idea of accidents away it essentially is one year closer to death, which depending on what you believe could either be good, bad, or indifferent. The reason we celebrate birthdays is because it is our pause and our time to be present before major change. As you get one year older you mark all the experiences you had prior and try to prepare yourself as best you can for all the new coming into your life. In all honesty, we don’t really know how to prepare for change. Sure, there are Spiritual Gurus, and motivational speakers who have made a living off trying to show us how to prepare for change, but I’m going to level with you here. None of us really know what the fuck we are doing. We can take their advice as guidance, but we can’t really let the opinions of others experiences be the determining factors. Wisdom comes from time, so listening to our elders is impactful, but the world is ever changing and ever present so there is truly only so much belief you can devote too. 

So to avoid joining a cult in the middle of the desert, I believe you should treat upcoming change like you treat your birthday: you can either relish in fear and hide out and be miserable, or 

You can celebrate. 

See we can usually tell when change is coming. There is something in the air, our air. Maybe you’ve been kicking ass at work and a promotion is on the horizon, maybe you have made enough money to finally move out of your parents house and into a new living situation in a new city, maybe you met that person and something just feels different…a good different. Whatever is it we all have felt it before, that feeling that something new is coming. 

The universe will give us signs too, it can be in a dream, it can be in astrology readings that you usually only paid attention too when it was your signs season but now you’re like..”hey wait a minute this mf might be on to something.”

It could be things people say to you that seems like a repeat, it may even be coincidences from the shows you watch to the music that you listen too. I believe God ordains this universe to give us signs to feel when something new is coming into our life. 

So this morning I woke up and I had this dire need to create. I felt like there was so much I needed to do and accomplish. It wasn’t because I saw other people on social media doing it and was comparing myself, there were no outside influences. I just felt that need to do, I felt like so much time had gone by and I should have, could have, would have, been somewhere further and I needed to create and work right now to make it happen. 

I looked around the room, a small white bedroom with a slanted ceiling from the cabin the quilted sheets tangled in between my legs.  My hair a birds nest. I grabbed my computer and started to write, I texted my friends about the layout for our projects we had coming up, I went through my calendar in my head, when I was interrupted. I was interrupted by the sun peaking through the blinds, the sound of laughter and chatter slipping under the door from the living room. The smell of breakfast whispering through the air. 

I looked at the time and realized it was early 9:30 in the morning on a Saturday, and I was in the wilderness with little too no service. I had all these thoughts and plans, but I was in the most peaceful place. Peace and least productive. I had this sudden feeling that I had time, that I had time to put all these things together and now was not the time. 

Now was the time to relax, to spend time with people who love me, to enjoy the nice weather, to eat good food. To be present where I am right now, and to celebrate how far I’ve come. 

Often time we equate change with anxiety. That suffocating feeling to fix and work is my mind and body try to brace me for the positive change that my life is about to encounter. If I can tie up loose ends I will be better prepared for what’s to come. However the thing is, I can’t fix everything at once. I do not know what my new experience will bring me, I am not sure how it is going to have me evolve, I am not sure who it is going to bring into my life. All I do know is that I am going to work my ass off to succeed, things are going to work out, and though there will be distress and low points, there may even be an uphill battle, I am going to change for the better and really good beneficial things are coming my way. 

So when you feel that feeling, that knowing that change is coming I want you to think back to your translon points. It’s kind of like going from middle school to high school, that preparation we tried to do and the wild ride that actually came to be, but the fact that we made it through for the better we grew and matured. Life is literally an on going upgrade from middle to high school. What a sucky analogy. 

So as you embark on the new change sit and celebrate where you are. It may be that you overcame some real fuck shit and are stronger for it, it may be that things have been going so smoothly and Thank God that it has been, it may even be that everything around you is staying the same but you are evolving your wants and needs and interests are changing. The point is something is happening something is coming and you are so blessed to be where you are. 

So be present, go on a cabin trip and enjoy the weather the people you are with, yourself. Or if you are home, call a friend and chat, talk to your family, take yourself out to lunch and really enjoy your meal. Take a nap and wake up and watch a good show. Do things that feel really good and be present, so you can evolve into your change with a little bit of comfort and security that things are going to be okay. Shit, better than okay, they are going to be good. You are going to get through it, as you always do.